The Waiting Game(s)

I’ve got keys in hand for a new place in Portland. I have a job lined up. I have a date set for my portfolio defense. I’m registered for graduation (which, by the way, was sneakily moved from Saturday, June 16th to the afternoon of Sunday, June 17th to accommodate First Lady Obama).

I have yet to file my HR paperwork. I have yet to start packing up my apartment. I’m still polishing up my portfolio. And to top it all off, I’m sick.

And of course, what’s the one thing that’s really bugging me right now?

“When am I going to find a meaningful romantic relationship?”

You’re kidding me. Maybe it’s the anxiety around another transition, and maybe it’s that by focusing on something somewhat trivial, I won’t waste my energy in a full-blown meltdown over graduation and getting a new job and moving.

Rationally–and seriously, how often have I said this in the past year–I don’t have time for a relationship right now. Give me a few months to settle in, and then I’ll be ready to negotiate “When should we make dinner?” and “Do you want to go out with some of my friends tonight?” into my everyday routine.

Guys (literally talking to the guys right now), I would be charmed if you asked me out for a date. However, I would be just as flattered to join you and your friends out for a random night of sports and good food (or what have you). I still maintain that whomever I end up dating will have first been a good friend to me. After all, “friend” is the biggest component in “boyfriend.” What I’m saying is this: as I transition from Corvallis to Portland, get excited! Be excited that you have someone to visit in PDX or that I’ll be coming into Corvallis to hang out on weekends. Let’s not worry about details right now, folks; let’s worry about living it up (especially those of us that are still grad students).

The other thing that’s weighing heavily on my mind is: “When am I going to find time to travel? And where am I going to go?”

Again, this is something that really should not be at the forefront of my mind, but I cannot shake the notion that I need to get over to either Dublin, Ireland or Australia and New Zealand. Again, rationally speaking–I don’t have time for a big trip right now, and I certainly do not have the money. It’s a huge bummer knowing I might have to wait for up to a year to make another significant journey, and so I become impatient.

I have to remind myself, yet again, to stay mindful and enjoy the moment. I need to be okay with uncertainty and let the journey unfold. I am unstoppable, and reflection does not mean bringing things to a halt.

Okay. I’m good. Here I go again…


There was a game on Saturday, UW vs. OSU. I don’t want to talk about how it ended, so instead, I’ll talk about how much fun tailgating was. There is little else more satisfying than meeting up with a friend, buying many beverages, and searching for an OSU tent full of people you don’t know. We ended up hanging out with OSU fans, UW fans, and a few neutral Seattle U. students (and some French-Canadians??!), and it was a grand ol’ time. Made some new FASA connections, too– just proves it really is a small world.

The rest of the weekend went well. Just lots of food and hanging out with friends.

Today’s been a mixed bag. On one hand, work and class went really well. On the other hand, I found out there’s been a huge mix-up with my 401(k) rollover process. Long story short, one week before my rollover paperwork arrived at the administrative offices, there was already a command put in to close my “low balance” account. I would have known this if I had gotten my mailing address at OSU early enough, but I had to have all my mail sent to my parents’ address.

Longer story short, I have to come up with over $200 to match what is being withheld for federal taxes, roll everything over somehow, and wait until tax season to get my refunds.

Now I get to deal with paying some state income tax, no state income tax, and reclaiming withholdings. I hate everything related to money right now, especially since I still have to wait about two weeks for my next paycheck.

In other news, I miss my mommy and daddy, my hometown friends, my Seattle friends, and that one I call the Super Ninja. But on the up side, I have a nice little friend network growing here in Corvallis.

More to come later.