You Don’t Know Anything, So Stop Listening to Yourself

You Don’t Know Anything, So Stop Listening to Yourself via

Listen to your gut. Fight your instinct.

I’ve been sitting on this post for months upon months upon months. It just sat there with a link to the article. It’s been in the back of my mind since making that scary leap from graduate school to the Real World v.2.0.

“Your instincts are trained habits that you created somewhere along the way. And they are usually just what you’re comfortable with. And some of us are comfortable being unhappy, being taken advantage of, being walked all over, ignored, overlooked, under respected, being made to settle. Your gut tells you the truth, it tells you when something is off. It tells you what no one else will.”

There was a lot of that, carried over from goodness knows how many years of the same old bad habits. I’m trying to break that now. I’ve been doing so much to challenge myself, to step out of this comfort zone, and to make a stand for the person I want to be and the life I want to have.

Being intentional in my goals towards a fitter, healthier self has helped a lot. CrossFit still makes me anxious day after day (or WOD after WOD, I should say), but I still go. Even if my gains aren’t phenomenal like a lot of my friends’, it’s still personal progress. It’s still my victory.

Stepping outside of the comfort zone in advising pushes me to be a better professional–and to have more of an impact on my students’ lives. It’s not easy for me to ask those follow-up questions of, “What could you have done to be more successful this quarter?” and “How will what’s happened this quarter affect your next quarter here?” and so forth. But when I do, I see the wheels turning. I see those reflective pieces start to come together for my students. And I see again why it is what I do matters, and why I simply do what I do.

Being new-ish to a city is tough. It has its own challenges, but I am still making that transition happen. Interestingly enough, my instinct is to move on to the next place quickly. But I think this time, I’m going to stay. Since college, I haven’t lived in one city for more than two years. In fact, I haven’t made it two full years in one place since leaving Bellingham. As I’ve said before, I think I’m ready to put down some roots in Portland.

And that scares me to no end.

I need to try this, though. I need to give myself this chance to stabilize. It will give me the chance to establish a real home again, to become a part of a community, and to keep on this pattern of growth. Growth doesn’t have to mean running from place to place. It doesn’t mean I have to give up that love of travel and exploration, either.

You bet these next few years will be full of mini-breakdowns and embarrassments. (Heck, I hit myself in the face multiple times on my exceedingly low-rep WOD today–however, I completed the workout at the prescribed weight, so I’m going to take that as a victory. [That’s part of the new philosophy moving forward–unless I know the prescribed weight is physically dangerous to me, I will attempt it, even if it means I’m slow and I’m dead-last each time.])

And that’s all okay. Instinct says it’s not, but I’ve got that gut feeling that things will be just fine.

Happy Friday, everyone.

I can see everything from here.



Maybe it’s not me who’s missing my opportunities for true love.

Maybe it’s you.

Maybe it’s not me who’s running and untethered and a feather on the wind.

Maybe it’s you.

Or maybe it’s both of us.

And maybe it’s impatience and subjective perspectives of time slowly wearing me down.

Where are you, Love? Where are you off to now?

(Could I interface with you?)

Keeping it Together

In 2013, I hope to put forth my most genuine self and stop second-guessing all that I do. I plan on formulating my 2013 theme this weekend. It will take much thinking and even more processing.

However, since it’s Friday, here’s a little something light-hearted to brighten up the weekend.


I have reached the phase of grow-out in which my hair does this midway through styling. Finally.

Happy Happy

Birthday week is a good week. Even when it ends with running several 300m lengths carrying a sledgehammer and then attempting multiple rounds of hang power cleans at a weight I’ve never tried before. It’s a good week even though I worked my full work week and was notified that one of our advising scenarios from my academic advising course came true. It’s a good week even when I realize I haven’t done laundry in a long time.

It’s a good week because it’s humbling and full of reality checks but because it also just makes me feel so darned special. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Northwest SunsetAlso, here’s a picture of the sky when I left work today!


I’ve been at a conference for the past couple of days. I have lots to process, and I am sure I will have a lot to share come next week. In other news, my conference proposal that I worked diligently on with several colleagues across the country was not accepted; it’s a disappointment, that’s for sure, but at least there was good feedback (for the most part) and I have an idea of how to retool it. It is still a topic that I feel is important, and while I am no “expert” and there was no quantifiable study, the shared experiences my colleagues and I had are real.

But, Fridays are not the day for discussing the “what ifs” of the week. They are for fun things!

And thus, I present this:

Happy Weekend!!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, here is a video of an adorable baby seal.
I’ve literally watched it at least 20 times. It just makes my soul smile. And makes me want to hold that seal and tell it everything will be okay.

(Not related at all: have a fun and safe pre-Halloween weekend, everyone! It looks like my OSU friends have started it out right with the drag show performance. Fantastic!)

Fun Day Grab Bag

It’s been a silly Friday, probably egged on by the fact that I essentially had cake for breakfast and then went through a series of humorous work-day events.

Trying to bring back some intellectual “Hmm” to the day, however, I would like to share an article about female modesty.

Of course, this means that we’re talking about breasts. Enjoy!

When did bare breasts become taboo?


I made it to Friday, and the best part about that is…

I made it through my first “first week of Fall Quarter” at work. The wait times for students wanting to see an advisor was infinitely shorter than it was last week, when times got up into the hours (plural).

Now, I’m going to reward myself with an episode of Doctor Who, maybe a Rainier, and some sleep before waking up much too early for a 5K I don’t even intend to fully run. YAY! FRIDAY!

Several Things

1. I am in the midst of a zombie attack. The HvZ game, OSU edition, just began. It sounds like our hall has its first zombie. I’m neutral. I guess that makes me a non-human?

2. Due to being out of town and being stupidly busy with grad school, I missed my bloggy friend, Sca’s, birthday. SO, HAPPY INCREDIBLY BELATED BIRTHDAY, YOU!! Also, read her blog. It’s wonderful.

3. I’m making little bits of progress towards an international opportunity this summer. Heads up– if you’re thinking, “What should I get ‘Dith for her birthday and/or Christmas?” your answer should be, “I should probably donate to her international education cause.” Because there will be one.

4. I’m skipping yoga today and hoping to make it to the 5PM Zumba class at the Rec Center. Here’s hoping this all pans out.

5. Shoot, I’m making lists again.

6. Seattle in two weeks!

7. Always end on an odd number.