I find myself saying something similar all the time in my current job, asking students to look forward–sometimes years ahead–to tell me what it is they want to do. Granted, in the context of a program or a degree, the intent is a little less vague. But what happens after that intent is uncharted.
Every now and then, I like to look at my very first blog post here. I occasionally log into my old Livejournal to read my much older musings. I also enjoy reading up on acquaintances’ blogs, relishing how much they have grown since I knew them in junior high science class. It is amazing to see potential grow–and how it grows in the most unexpected ways.
I try to remember to inspire myself week to week. I draft conference proposals. I wake up to write down research prompts. Sometimes I write clever comedy bits or chapters for a book in progress. I read travel magazines. I find myself mesmerized by the airplanes arriving and leaving Portland International Airport. I almost can’t wait to arrive at the airport and wait my way through security because beyond those metal detectors, my big shiny metal birds live, waiting to take me somewhere different, somewhere new, or somewhere beloved.
The other day, I explained to Snugz that it’s entirely surprising to myself that I crave travel so much. Just a few years ago, I was still afraid to leave my hometown, but bit by bit, step by step, I explored more of my corner of the world. And then, when I outgrew that corner, I sought out new adventures. Now, it’s nearly insatiable; it’s not always practical, given the real world of bills and responsibility and budgets, but that doesn’t stop me from dreaming. It doesn’t stop me from requesting tourism journals and browsing CouchSurfing for possible hosts and friends. It doesn’t stop me from connecting with others who have found their way across this world.
In other words, I have become unstoppable.
Tonight, as I pushed myself to finish the Work-out of the Day without stopping, without walking those torturous laps around the block, I showed myself that it’s not just one aspect of myself that refuses to keep going. I have had the sky open up and dump its worst on me. I’ve had the universe decide I was its punching bag.
Yet I’m still here.
So, thanks for sticking with me, even though this was supposed to be a career blog which then turned into a log of my Quarter-Life Crisis, and then my graduate capstone and academic recovery, and then my personal dumping ground, and now, a healing journal.
And here’s the thing: through it all… life just keeps getting richer and more meaningful and more wonderful.