One of my strongest attributes as a dancer is my ability to channel attitude. I love being “on” with that much personality. I love feeling larger than life. Maybe that’s my “short girl complex” speaking, but I cannot imagine my life without my charisma and “showiness.”
This outgoing character of sorts is integral to my personality, and it has been for quite awhile. Believe it or not, I was a very shy child. However, I worked really hard at changing that. And by doing so long enough, I became extremely extroverted. Was it influenced by growing up with performance arts? Or was it just a natural development?
Did it happen when I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself all the time?
I used to hate my life. I let naysayers and bullies get to me. I internalized every negative word and couldn’t handle criticism. I was a wreck. Thus is the genius child’s plight.
I made a deliberate effort to think positively, or at least adopt an “I don’t care what you think” attitude. For the most part, it worked–but I still struggle with the not placing a ton of value on what people think. For the most part though, I worry about how I feel.
My current venture in the single lady realm is allowing me to really explore my attitudes and my own needs and wants on my own terms. A lot of this also plays into my student affairs world. I’m thankful for the opportunity to scope out my niche on my own.
I’ve been talking more in class discussions this time around, as compared to my participation in undergraduate discussions. Maybe I don’t have the most articulate thoughts all the time, but that’s alright. I’m getting my thoughts out there, and hopefully, I’m helping others think about things in new ways. I’m not as worried about “sounding dumb” anymore, and that’s awesome.
Anyway, my blood sugar is really low. It’s snack time.