Growing Older, But Never Growing Up

Dating never gets easier.

College students need to know this.

As I said to one student a few weeks ago, at some point you just kind of realize your “problem areas” when it comes to dating. Me? I’m afraid of rejection, so my typical pattern is to develop a crush and then never do anything about it. Or if I do, I’m so difficult to read that I come across as detached or as if I’m placing said guy in the “friendzone.” I have a hard time using my words. In fact, it recently took me three hours to type up a message that literally said, “I think you’re rad. We should hang out more.”



That’s right– cool-as-a-cucumber, hilarious, one-of-the-guys ‘Dith can’t function around attractive guys. Actually, wait. I take that back. I can function around them until I realize I like-like them. Then I become a shy, bumbling idiot, over-analyzing everything and sweating while doing so. It’s pathetic, really.

But at some point, you put on your “big kid” pants, tip your hat to your insecurities, and do your best to cope with them. As I’ve said to another friend, the worst that can happen is you do get rejected– then you pat yourself on the back for trying, learn a lesson or two, maybe mope around embarrassed for awhile, and then you get back out there and hit a homerun. Or something along those lines.

The bottom line is I’m going to be a student affairs professional, but I’m a real live human, too. I’m not scary. I’m not invincible. I don’t have magic powers (that I know of).

I’m just a girl… er, young lady… trying to figure out her way in life, too.


5 thoughts on “Growing Older, But Never Growing Up

  1. Reynor says:

    Whoa. You figured out you’re human. Rad!

    Wait. I’ve missed some posts. How is it possible that you like-like someone since you already like-like someone or something like that?

  2. atattooedtale says:

    I actually wonder about this. I think maybe dating does come easier with practice, and part of that practice allows you to overcome the shyness. Most of us are afraid of being rejected. It’s not a good feeling. But I think confidence goes a long way, and you certainly showed confidence the (maybe?) one time I talked to you.

    • Ardith says:

      Yeah, confidence in general vs. confidence in dating are two different realms for me, I’ve come to realize. That’s why I say it really doesn’t get “easier,” as far as nerves go and whatnot. Kind of like performing– I love it, love being on stage, but I always get nervous beforehand. That never really goes away, but I’ve learned to channel it better.

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