Old lesson: You can’t love someone else until you love [or fix] yourself.
New lesson: It hurts when you know someone you love hasn’t fulfilled the latter part of the old lesson. And it hurts when you know you need to let them figure it out on their own without you.
I knew what needed to happen. Nearly six years ago, I met this boy, and about four years ago, I made the choice to fix myself. I hate that it’s not on my account this time, but I respect him. Among a plethora of other feelings of which he’s already well-aware.
So that’s where I am right now. And I guess it’s time to try and fix me again. For now, it’s grad school, attempting to secure an internship abroad during the summer, more writing, more dancing, more baking, and feeling beautiful, brilliant, and worthy of my own respect and love.