5 Years and 2 Months Later.

I started reading my old Livejournal again.

It’s so terrible. I was a cute, little high school/college kid who was preoccupied with trying to understand boys. I wasn’t terribly confident, but I was very spontaneous and fun, so that’s a good thing. I came across an old “survey” that was posted in January 2005, and I thought to myself… What if Future Ardith could talk to Past Ardith and tell her just how awesome she thinks she is? So instead of a letter to my 18-year-old self, here’s a Livejournal quiz to my 19-year-old self.

01. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. ‘Dith – It’s short, simple, and for some reason, it captures the swagger you’ll eventually find. Variations include The Dith, Dithy, Dithers, etc.

02. Am I lovable? Absolutely. You are hilarious, and you definitely make others smile. I know that’s important to you. But you need to learn to love yourself first before obsessing about whether guys like you or not– get confident. It’s not scary, I promise.

03. How long have you known me? That’s an awkward question because I’ve been you for a long time. But I didn’t really know you til you could record memories, so what, like… 20 years, give or take a few?

04. What was your first impression? I don’t remember exactly, but you seemed happy and curious.

05. Do you still think that way about me now? Well, you’re still very curious, but you have some happiness issues. You rely too much on how others perceive you– start thinking about how you perceive yourself.

06. what do you think my weakness is? Trying to find love without truly loving yourself. You’re a romantic at heart, but work on yourself first. Please.

07. Do you think I’ll get married? I hope so.

08. What makes me happy? Laughing, dancing, and good food. And adventures.

09. What makes me sad? Loneliness. (And even now, it still makes me sad.)

10. What reminds you of me? The Postal Service and that fuzzy pink scarf.

11. If you could give me anything what would it be? Confidence. But I don’t need to give that to you– you’ll find it.

12. How well do you know me? As well as you know yourself.

13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t? Yes. Lots of things. But it’s really hard to communicate with yourself from five years in the future.

14. Do you think I could kill someone? Only if you hit them with your car. And it might be a bicyclist. But he won’t die; he’ll just break his collarbone.

15. Describe me in one word. Psuedoawesome – I describe myself as “awesome” nowadays, so you are almost totally awesome.

16. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same? Stronger. Or something.

17. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? No– you’d think I was totally crazy if I showed up in your dorm room. “Hey! I’m you, from the future!!”

18. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
I wish you could tell me what you think of me, but I don’t think that’s possible.

3 thoughts on “5 Years and 2 Months Later.

  1. niesha says:

    Er, I think back about all of the love problems I had in the past and even now at 23 I still am only a little bit past them. I’ve gotten better at not obsessing and letting things go more but the whole loving myself part? Well, that’s a whole nother issue. At 18 I thought the world was going to fall apart if someone didn’t like me back, now I know better than that at least.

    • Ardith says:

      Yeah, I’m still learning. Unfortunately for me, getting to this point in my life meant I had to go through a harsh period of time. It’s not an easy thing…

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