New development tonight: I sold It’s Called a Break-up Because it’s Broken on Half.com tonight. Pretty sure I read maybe 10 pages of that book. I’m not knocking it, but it wasn’t what I needed to get through a break-up.
What worked for me was taking control of my life. The last few months, I’ve been so taken with living up to other people’s “expectations.” I say that in quotes because no one expects me to settle down, get married, and have kids– I’m one of those girls that people look to, expecting her to do something unexpected.
I have been re-kindling friendships, writing more, making new friends, laughing a lot, and appreciating the awesomeness that is my own life. I’m still nervous about traveling to Madrid, but I know that no matter what, this is going to be an experience I talk about til the end of time.
Tonight, I realized what makes me happy– I surround myself with people who have a certain zest for life. They are the people who place value on the friends they have and the adventures they have, not the car they drive or the money they spend. They are the people who don’t believe that getting old is a terrible thing. They are the people who know when to smile and laugh, and they are the people that simply care about others around them. These are my parents, my old friends, my new friends, my co-workers, and the people who will become my friends. It’s also my future significant other, whomever he may be.
I’m a very odd person, random and spontaneous. I crave adventure. I want to be with someone who wants to adventure with me, too. He’ll be someone who is completely in awe of who I am, where I’ve been, and where I might go. He’ll be open to the idea of me working at a community college in Hawaii, or a university in the Philippines or New Zealand or the Midwest. He won’t be scared of the unknown. And he’ll let me know that I don’t have to be afraid of the uncertain, too.
These thoughts are a bit disjointed tonight, but in my mind, it all makes sense.
In other news, one month after I come back to the States, one of my best friends gets married. And then a few weeks later, so does another. And then there are even more weddings. All I can think about are the shoes and the dresses I’ll wear… and the potential dates I’ll bring. And all the dancing.