I Led the Pigeons to the Flag

Those are apparently misheard words to the pledge of allegiance.  I love it, partially because I love pigeons, partially because… well, it’s a hilarious image. Leading pigeons! To a flag!

I’m at a weird place right now. I’ve re-established one of the best and most meaningful friendships in my life, but contrary to my promise of “living in the moment,” I’m concerned about how these connections will play out in the future. Luckily, I’m okay with telling myself that fate will lead me to the next step. I just need my over-active brain to shut up again.

On a similar note, my brain is confused now. For a few years, my best friend and boyfriend were one and the same. Now that the duties have been separated, ala Ted and Robin from HIMYM, there’s a void in my life. It isn’t that I want my old boyfriend back, but I crave the security that comes from watching TV, snuggled under someone’s arm. I crave that mid-afternoon food coma, lying on my bed with my head on someone’s stomach, or tucked up awkwardly against their neck.

I’ll find that again, but it’s not here now. And for someone so impatient, that’s a problem.

It’s also a problem that my last boyfriend was so awesome. He’s set the bar high, and he showed me that I don’t have to settle. There are people with good personalities, good families, and good friends, and they are out there to make me laugh, smile, and feel alive. There are probably only a handful in the world that will fulfill all that I’m looking for, but they’re out there.

Anyway, at least I’m sorting things out. It will all work out. And maybe there’s someone out there who will help me lead those pigeons.

4 thoughts on “I Led the Pigeons to the Flag

  1. Lilly says:

    I totally know how you feel. I miss that security often times as well. But I’m not going to fall into the arms of just anyone to feel secure. I want it to be someone special, someone who reaches the high bar I have set. They are few and far between, but they are out there.

    Glad you are sorting things out.

    • Ardith says:

      Yeah, the security’s a big issue for me, but sometimes I think it stems from my physical size. Which is very small. I’m at least looking forward to being methodical about who I set my sights on– it’s different being single, 24, and out of school, as compared to being single, 20-21, and in college.

      Things will continue to fall into place; I just need some patience, that’s for sure.

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